User uShare Login | Register
Login
Register

Along with posting photos, videos, and stories, your uShare account lets you post Classified Ads, recipes on What's For Dinner, and Announcements.


81° View Weather Current Conditions Sioux Falls Change Location
Set Weather Options

RADAR LOCATION

TEMPERATURE LOCATION

Share your Photos, Videos, and Stories on uShare! Click here to get started.

Severe weather for Overnight July 5th - July 6th, 2015

Severe Weather Outlook

Severe Weather

State Radar


Click here for local closings & delays

Send photos to ushare@keloland.com

Storm Center Update

 

KELOLAND.com | Sioux Falls News & Weather, South Dakota News & Weather, Minnesota and Iowa News

[0] My Saved Articles
Find local businesses
on the KELO Pages!

 

A Far Cry From Home

August 28, 2014, 10:00 PM by Don Jorgensen

A Far Cry From Home

Thousands of college students are heading back to class.  For incoming freshman, it can be a difficult time adjusting to being away from home.

But sometimes it's tougher on the parents, especially those who are dropping off their child on a college campus for the very first time.

Saying goodbye is never easy.

"It was hard, knowing he's leaving but he was so excited, he was ready to go," Rhonda Lockwood said.

Lockwood is like a lot of parents this fall who had the sometimes difficult and emotional job of dropping off their first college student on campus.

Lockwood and her husband, who are the parents of five children, helped their oldest son, Sam, move into his new dorm room at the University of Minnesota earlier this month.

"So we got as much done as we could, said we were going to go, went outside, thought I was great and then he said don't cry, I said I'm not going to, so I cried and got it out of my system," Lockwood

"It's going to be okay, you're still the parent, you're still there to love and support and guard them," Becky Palugyay of Sanford Behavioral Health said.

Becky Palugyay is a mental health counselor for Sanford and says going off to college can sometimes be tougher on parents than it is for the child.

She says it's even tougher on parents who are helicopter parents; those who have hovered over their kids' every move and have micro-managed their every decision.

"There's a lot of helicopter parents who show themselves when their kids go off to college, unfortunately sometimes with helicopter parents they've done a disservice to their kids, because they get involved when they are over involved with their kids," Palugyay said.

Parents mean well, but the downside of being a helicopter parent is that their kids lack social, coping, and problem solving skills that will allow them to survive in a campus setting.

"They tend to be over protective, kind of controlling, they want to make sure that their children are happy, it's a fine line between meeting your children's needs, caring and loving them and being over involved," Palugyay said.

Lockwood, who's an attorney in Sioux Falls, doesn't think she's a so-called helicopter parent.

Sam is going to go into law school like his mother, something Lockwood says she tried to steer him away from.

"I don't think so, I'm an old school parent, I don't put up with a lot, I won't give a lot of leeway in the sense of, Don:  you don't give them a very long leash?  No I don't, because I don't want them to hang themselves, but with that said when it comes to college, he's the one who decided where he wanted to go, he just did it," Lockwood said.

Lockwood says she's trying not to keep close tabs on Sam while he's away at college. 

"I don't want to be a helicopter parent in college at all, that's when I say I don't want to text him or call him, because he needs to do this and he needs to grow and learn on his own," Lockwood said.

That's a good approach according to health experts.

Lockwood has some advice for other parents who will go through the same emotional turmoil when it's their turn to drop off their first child in college.

"I think the one thing everybody said to me was it's great, they're excited, this is good for them, I'm happy for them, all that is true without a shadow of a doubt, that doesn't make it easier for the parent," Lockwood said.

Previous Story

Next Story


Comments







Sponsored

 


View featured stories

You may also like

Are Bank Branches Saying Goodbye?

6/29/2015 10:25 PM

According to FDIC data, last year U.S. banks had the highest level of branch closures in history.

Full Story | Watch
July Fourth Peace Prayer To Attract Thousands To Black Hills

6/28/2015 10:44 PM

Meanwhile, that many people in an isolated part of the forest near Deerfield Lake raises questions about health and safety, as well as natural and cul...

Full Story | Watch
Bikes Get Second Chance

7/2/2015 10:00 PM

It's going to be awhile before these bikes are ready to hit the road, but the girls here will tell you it's not so much about building the bik...

Full Story | Watch
Too Old For Tech?

7/3/2015 10:15 PM

Tech companies - they're cool places, usually filled with computer geeks that are, well, young. 

Full Story
SF Polo Club Ready For Busy Summer

7/1/2015 10:14 PM

After decades of slow growth, the Sioux Falls Polo Club is "saddling up" for the busiest season yet.

Full Story | Watch


Events